Saturday night, Ben, PB, and I went to a wedding. This is wedding numero 84720 for the summer for us, but I’m not keeping count.
The wedding started at 6:30. We needed to leave our house absolutely no later than 5:45. We were running way behind. I was trying to find a dress that hid my deflated spare tire. Ben and PB were watching 6 football games at the same time. Raise your hand if your husband does that! We’ve got two tv’s in our house. Ben turns both on to different football games, and runs back and forth to each tv watching the games. And then, he proceeds to watch at least 3 different games on each tv, flipping the channels like a mad man. It’s incredibly entertaining for me to watch.
So I put on my bossy pants and told Ben he had 10 minutes to be ready to go out the door. I dressed PB, which takes every bit of 45 minutes. At one point I decided it would be just fine if he went naked to the wedding. He screams and kicks and tries to climb off of the table. I would rather put pants on a rattlesnake than to dress my son.
At 5:57, we walked out the door. I put my makeup on in the car. We got about 10 minutes down the road, and I realized I forgot the directions.
“That’s okay”, Ben says, “I know a shortcut.”
Dear friends, if your husband ever uses the phrase “I know a shortcut”, demand immediately that he stop the car and give you the wheel. This is a lie. There is no shortcut. Don’t you remember what happened to Little Red Riding Hood when she took a shortcut? Don’t.do.it.
“Whatever you say”, I grumbled.
At 6:20, we were 10 minutes into our ‘shortcut’ route, with no end in sight. I was getting fidgety. To be late to a wedding makes it almost pointless to go.
It was now 6:25. I was mad. The wedding would start in 5 minutes. We were nowhere near the venue. We started arguing. It’s my fault because I left the directions at home. It’s my fault because I made Ben shower. It’s my fault because I had to dry my hair. It’s my fault because I let Ben take the shortcut. Is it me, or do men not like to own up to their mistakes sometimes?
Finally, at 6:29, Ben admitted, “I think I went the wrong way”. We made up.
We stopped and asked for directions. At 6:47, we found the wedding site. We were late. We’d missed the entire wedding. People would notice that we were late. They would probably ask questions.
Before we got out of the car, Ben looked back at a peacefully sleeping PB, and he said, “Britt, can we just tell people that PB pooped on himself and we had to stop and change him?”
The things your children do for you……..
Please note the foreign object that my child has in his mouth. Nothing screams good parenting like someone capturing a picture of your child with a strange object in his mouth.
Have a blessed Tuesday 🙂
EEK, as a side note, I forgot to mention my first guest blog was posted yesterday! Check out Life Blessons to see it. I’ve you’ve never read Carmen’s blog, you’re in for a real treat. She’s an incredible woman of God, and writes passionately about her faith, marriage, and living a Godly life. She one of my favorite bloggers 🙂