Sometimes, I really stink at being a wife.
I give and give and do and do all day, and then I hand Ben the leftovers.
It stinks, I know.
Do you ever stink at being a wife?
Here lately, I’ve been a complaining, nagging wife. I don’t like to be complained to, and I certainly don’t like to be nagged on, but yet I’m doing it to Ben. A couple of weeks ago, he called me out on it. He asked me, point blank, why I had been so hateful and grouchy and ‘naggy’ towards him. At first, I denied it. And then, in what seems to be a natural procession for me, I started making excuses. I’m tired. I’m stretched too thin. I’m student-teaching soon. I’m stressed. I’m too busy. It’s that time of the month.
It wasn’t that time of the month, but that’s always my #1 cop out. Can I get an amen?
Anyway, after I went through 1,282 excuses, I finally gave up. I told him I was sorry, and that I had been picking on him for no good reason. I started thinking back on my attitude towards him. I had been grouchy. I had been less talkative. And when I did talk, I was usually nagging or complaining. Aka, I was a big terd.
I’ve been giving Ben my leftovers. At the end of the day, after I’m tired and worn out, I give him what’s left. And after a day of work, taking care of a 14 month-old, and cooking and cleaning for us, it’s usually not much. I wasn’t giving Ben my precious time, I was giving him the tired, worn out grouch that was leftover.
After becoming a mom, this has been one of the biggest challenges for me. I have a hard time balancing my roles, and at the end of the day, someone always gets the short end of the stick. And at the end of the day, it’s usually Ben.
But he’s still been so supportive of me. I think he realizes I’m struggling with this right now, and he’s been right there, listening to me nag and complain.
I started my student teaching this week. I was so nervous. This is a total career change for me and I am at a school where I don’t know anyone. My stomach was in knots as I pulled in to the in-service. Before I got out of my car, a bright red envelope caught my eye. I opened it. It was a letter from Ben. It was his pep talk speech to me, telling me how proud he was that I took this big leap of faith, and how he believed in me so much.
I cried, right there in the parking lot before in-service. And it wasn’t a ‘pretty’ cry. It was like a nose watering, mascara running mess. And I couldn’t stop. I realized how neglectful I had been towards him, and how supportive and caring he had still been towards me. What a terd.
So today is Thursday, and I’m thankful for my good man. He’s always there for me, even when I’m a terd. He loves me when I’m unlovable. He believes in me. He encourages me. He supports me and makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to.
And I think he’s pretty good-lookin’ too.
Our honeymoon in Kauai.
Have a blessed Thursday 🙂