thankful thursday: a good man

Sometimes, I really stink at being a wife.

I give and give and do and do all day, and then I hand Ben the leftovers.

It stinks, I know.

Do you ever stink at being a wife?

Here lately, I’ve been a complaining, nagging wife. I don’t like to be complained to, and I certainly don’t like to be nagged on, but yet I’m doing it to Ben. A couple of weeks ago, he called me out on it. He asked me, point blank, why I had been so hateful and grouchy and ‘naggy’ towards him. At first, I denied it. And then, in what seems to be a natural procession for me, I started making excuses. I’m tired. I’m stretched too thin. I’m student-teaching soon. I’m stressed. I’m too busy. It’s that time of the month.

It wasn’t that time of the month, but that’s always my #1 cop out. Can I get an amen?

Anyway, after I went through 1,282 excuses, I finally gave up. I told him I was sorry, and that I had been picking on him for no good reason. I started thinking back on my attitude towards him. I had been grouchy. I had been less talkative. And when I did talk, I was usually nagging or complaining. Aka, I was a big terd.

I’ve been giving Ben my leftovers. At the end of the day, after I’m tired and worn out, I give him what’s left. And after a day of work, taking care of a 14 month-old, and cooking and cleaning for us, it’s usually not much. I wasn’t giving Ben my precious time, I was giving him the tired, worn out grouch that was leftover.

After becoming a mom, this has been one of the biggest challenges for me. I have a hard time balancing my roles, and at the end of the day, someone always gets the short end of the stick. And at the end of the day, it’s usually Ben.

But he’s still been so supportive of me. I think he realizes I’m struggling with this right now, and he’s been right there, listening to me nag and complain.

I started my student teaching this week. I was so nervous. This is a total career change for me and I am at a school where I don’t know anyone. My stomach was in knots as I pulled in to the in-service. Before I got out of my car, a bright red envelope caught my eye. I opened it. It was a letter from Ben. It was his pep talk speech to me, telling me how proud he was that I took this big leap of faith, and how he believed in me so much.

I cried, right there in the parking lot before in-service. And it wasn’t a ‘pretty’ cry. It was like a nose watering, mascara running mess. And I couldn’t stop. I realized how neglectful I had been towards him, and how supportive and caring he had still been towards me. What a terd.

So today is Thursday, and I’m thankful for my good man. He’s always there for me, even when I’m a terd. He loves me when I’m unlovable. He believes in me. He encourages me. He supports me and makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to.

And I think he’s pretty good-lookin’ too.

                                                    Our honeymoon in Kauai.

Have a blessed Thursday 🙂


8 thoughts on “thankful thursday: a good man

  1. how right you are, being a mommy and a wife stretches everyone thin! and add in un needed stress.. im a walking ball of whiney sometimes, the letter is a very sweeeeeeeet thing you have a good man on your hands, but dont sell yourself short! you are doing great!! i have been a mommy for four years and i have yet to get the mommy-wife-student-pleasant person thing down pat! xo!


  2. I also am newly-wifed… just happened across your blog and love it! We're going to try getting pregnant in the next few months, so I feel like it's good prep for me to read your posts!


  3. girl. coulda written this right out of my own mouth. sometimes i have gregg give me pep talks. i do all the talking, but i pretend it's coming from him. it actually helps. like this, “mama, please don't be mad at my diddy for being late. he loves you and i bet he is doing something very important. he isn't just TRYING to make you mad. when he comes home, you just give him a big smile and a hug and don't say anything about him being later than he thought he would be, okay? your marriage is the most important thing goin in this house. you can't be a good mama if you aren't a good wife.” and then i realize if anyone else were watching me, i'm a lunatic, but i am a lunatic who is ready to give my husband a smile and a hug! hang in there – awareness of our own stink-at-being-a-good-wife-ness is the first step!


  4. It's so hard for me not to be short with my husband after a long day at work and cooking and cleaning. They are always there and sometimes that means they always get the brunt of our frustrations. Lucky us for having good, understanding men to call us out, and help us change! 🙂


  5. So sweet Britt. I fail miserably at this one, but honestly, with two kids, one on the way, our jobs and Ben going to school, I don't even recognize it. It's never perfect, and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it! You guys are an adorable couple and this is a great reminder. Good luck student teaching!!!


  6. So I cried reading this. I too have been a turd lately to Jacob and this post made me realize how easy it is to be a turd but how it is so worth the effort to not be a turd. And let me be the first to tell you, this semester you are really going to want to be a turd. I was a turd all last semester and Jacob suffered through it. But I made a new yhat's resolution to be not a turd lol keep me updated on your student teaching! And if you need help with anything please let me know! I have lesson plans I am.willing to share 🙂


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