i’m a woman. i never say what i mean.

Ben plays in a recreational basketball league.

The games are in the afternoons after work, and I usually don’t mind if he plays. He just gets home a little later and we adjust our routine a little.

But last night, I cared.

And I did what any crazy woman would do.

I lied and told him it was fine.

And here’s the deal. It wasn’t fine with me, dangit. I had a butt load of lesson plans to write. I wasn’t feeling very good. And the house still hasn’t recuperated from PB’s sickness. So I called Ben after work and the conversation went a little something like this:

“Hey”.

“Hey”.

“What time will you be home?”

“Well I’m playing ball this afternoon, so I’ll be home a little later”.

“What? I didn’t know you were playing ball tonight. You didn’t tell me this morning”.

“Yes I did. You said that was fine”.

“Well……(insert a realllllly long sigh here)……. I’m going to need you to hurry home because I’ve got a ton of stuff to do tonight. I’ve got observations and everything tomorrow. I’m still going to have to cook supper, too. I don’t feel good, either. And, my pets’ heads are falling off (okay, I didn’t say that, but it seems like a natural progression). So, you’ll need to hurry up so I can have some help”.

“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll be home as soon as I can”.

Let’s stop here for a second. Look at the second to last paragraph. Can you tell that I’m basically screaming in, ALL CAPS, THAT IF BEN KNOWS WHAT’S GOOD FOR HIM, HE’LL KEEP HIS BUTT AT HOME TONIGHT? Because, actually, that’s what I’m saying to him.

But somehow, this is what he heard, “Okay, sweetie, have fun at your game tonight. I hope you play good. Hurry home so I can give you a big kiss!”

Instead of coming straight out with what I want or don’t want, I like to leave it up to interpretation. The problem is, a man never interprets it the way I intend for it to be interpreted. In this case, I’m telling Ben not to go to the stinkin’ ballgame in the most ‘please feel sorry for me’ kind of way. I’m doing this because I’m a woman and what I say is never really what I mean.

Can I get even a little amen?

Oh, I’m so bad for this when it comes to my marriage. I’m the queen of mind games. And now I’ve met my match.

So when I say, “Sure, go to your ballgame, but please hurry home because I have so much to do”, I really mean “Don’t you dare go to your ballgame, you terd”.

And this is what Ben hears, “Why yes, sweetie! Please have a wonderful time! I hope you score a bunch of points and have a marvelous time bonding with your male companions.”

I’m a woman and I never say what I really mean.

Amen.

Am I alone? Anyone else out there guilty of the interpretive speaking? Anybody else’s husband have hearing similar to Ben’s?

Have a blessed Wednesday πŸ™‚

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10 thoughts on “i’m a woman. i never say what i mean.

  1. Umm…. AMEN SISTER!!!!!! If I could caps lock that any bigger, I totally would. Men just don't hear the subtle hints we throw out there but we do it because we don't want to be THAT wife that says “You can't do this because I need you here.” *Sighhh… It's a vicious cycle.

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  2. Oh my word, I feel like you're describing what I do to my husband! He's the same way, if I don't really say what I mean, it goes right over his head. πŸ™‚

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  3. AMEN! I do this to Jesse ALL the time! He has finally caught on and gives me a chance to say no by asking “Are you sure?” or if I say yes, but pile on a list of to-dos he quickly goes “I'll skip, it's ok” But if I say ok and then get mad we argue. Jesse is a man of his word so if I say yes and he tells people he's going, he'll be there.

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  4. AMEN! Jacob hears what I say…and I think that most of the time he knows what I mean. But since it isn't what I actually said he just hears what he wanted me to say. So annoying.

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  5. Give it another year and then it's nothing to say how you feel, lol. Or add another kid and then you won't care to say get your booty home. What you need to do is bring that boy here and we will keep him when you need a break. Trust me, I know hoe overwhelming things get. Ethan, Eli and PB would have a great time. Seriously anytime.

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