i’m still here, really.

I’m still here.

I promise.

Really, I am.

Right now, I suppose I’m doing what all first year teachers are doing. Running from one place to the next, with my head spinning nonstop. For lunch today, I tried to put my sub sandwich on the copier machine instead of the microwave. It’s been a busy, busy couple of weeks. But I’m blessed-SO BLESSED- to even have a job right now, so I’ll just take the chaos like a grain of salt.

I have such a love/hate relationship with fall. It is, BY FAR, my most favorite season. I love everything about it….except trying to squeeze my unforgiving post-baby body into last year’s skinny jeans. Yea. I don’t like that. But everything else, I love, love, love. Except for football. Football is actually one of my favorite sports to watch. And I have always enjoyed going to football games, but now, fall means football, and football means Ben is gone most of the time. And that means there’s no rest for the weary. Ben gets home later now, so it’s PB and me for most of the evening. And man oh man, that kid can wear me out in the evenings. I can hardly keep up with him right now. We’re trying to find a new ‘normal’ and settle into a routine. It’s been a change for me to go back to work. We are all having to adjust.

On a side note, I got my first paycheck in 10 months, and let me tell you, it felt good. Part of me wanted to go wild and spend all of my money. It reminded me of the days when I waitressed in high school, and my paycheck was used for leisurely things. Ahhhhhhh…..Anyway,  I controlled myself, and really, we’re living just like we are on one paycheck still. What an awesome lesson we have learned this year living on one income. I’m planning a blog post about that soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to bed. Like, now. I’m still around, I promise! And I hope things will settle down soon and I can get back to a regular posting 🙂

Have a blessed Tuesday 🙂

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yes i did.

Pssst. 

Wanna know a secret?
Wanna know where I’ve been the last two weeks?
I’ll give you a hint.
Okay. No I won’t. I’m a blabber mouth.
I’ll just go ahead and say it.
Praise the Lord.


Praise, praise the Lord.
I got a job.

Praise the Lord.

Around mid-July, I was getting discouraged. I had applied for several jobs, and hadn’t heard back from anything. And more discouraging than that was the lack of teaching jobs in our area. School systems just aren’t hiring people right now. 
While we were on vacation, Ben and I had a long talk. I told him how discouraged I felt. I really felt like God had opened this door for me. The door that led me to go back to school, quit my stable job, student teach, and face unemployment. And all that while, I never doubted God’s plan. I knew His will would be done and He would take care of me. 
Enter June. I was hoping I would have a job by then. No such luck. Enter later June. I was hoping I would have at least had an interview by then. No such luck either. It was late July and I was failing a test in faith. I kept repeating Jeremiah 29:11 in my head: ‘For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope’.

I’m not going to lie. My faith was shaky. I began to wonder if I’d made the right decision. What I once saw as God’s will for my life, was starting to look like a foolish decision that had cost my family and I a good deal of time and money. 
And just as I felt myself and my faith sinking, I got a call for an interview. It was at the school I student-taught at, and I didn’t think I even remotely stood a chance. In fact, after the interview I felt more discouraged than I had before. 
Three days later, Ben and I took PB to the pool. I had been extra quiet that day because I knew if I would have gotten the job, I would have heard so by then. 
And just then, the phone rang. And I was offered the job. 
 
I started crying. I cried because I was happy, but mostly because I felt the Lord’s presence so strongly. I really felt as if He put His hand on my shoulder and said, “See? I do have plans for you. Don’t I always take care of you?” And I cried because I knew that was true, and yet, as more time had passed, I allowed myself to give in to the lies that Satan wants us to hear: we’re not good enough, we don’t stand a chance, we’re not important.

Ben and I had talked and prayed together about me finding a job. And as tempting as it was for us to flat-out pray that I would get a job, we didn’t. We just prayed for God’s will. If the Lord wants me to work, He’ll put me where He needs me. If He doesn’t, it’s because He has better plans for me. And I really prayed this. And I really felt this. I don’t ever want to be somewhere God doesn’t want me to be. If God’s not in it, I don’t want it in me. Now this isn’t to say that if I hadn’t got a job that I would be a little disappointed, because I probably would have. But I would rather be a little disappointed with my circumstances than to be out of God’s will.
So I’m a first grade teacher now at the school I student-taught at. It’s a really great school, and I have some exceptional co-workers. We’ve been in school a week now, and it’s been a whirlwind. I’m exhausted because I’ve been working long hours and because I’ve been on my feet all day (holy cow, I know why teachers wear tennis shoes now), but I love it. And I’m reassured that this is where I should be. And teaching is what I should be doing. 
I’ve missed my blog! I’ve missed my blog friends! I’ve missed you!
What have I missed since I’ve been gone?!
Have a blessed Friday 🙂