Less than 1 month ago, I wrote a blog post talking about saying ‘YES’ and doing what I felt like God was leading me to do, even when it was far outside of my comfort zone. At that time, I had just signed up as a Lipsense distributor, which was a huge leap outside of what I feel comfortable doing. I thought, okay, this is good enough for now. I’ll do more later on.
And then God said – NOPE, NOT DONE YET.
In my last post I referenced Ben and I taking initial steps to do something we had felt led to do. I was ‘vague-booking’ because I didn’t feel ready to share, just in case things didn’t work out. Besides that, we were in the very early, initial stages of doing this.
So you can imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from Ben that said “Hey, I know we weren’t anywhere near ready for this, but we’ve been asked to take in a foster child.”
SLAMS ON THE BRAKES.
I’m going to stop here and rewind 11 years ago, when Ben and I were dating and went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. On that visit, we decided that adoption was going to be in our future. We didn’t know how or when, but we both felt that tug to adopt. And for the past 11 years, we’ve not lost that tug. We’ve researched, made calls, prayed, researched more, and prayed a lot more. Up until a year ago, we were in different places. We knew we wanted to adopt, but just weren’t sure how we wanted to go about it. Ben wanted to do international adoption, and I wanted to domestic. I was feeling led to do foster to adopt, and Ben was not. So we agreed to pray until we both were on the same page. And then one night, Ben said, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel like we need to start with foster care.” Talk about Jesus chills right there. He had said early on this wasn’t something he even wanted to consider. The Lord works, ya’ll!
We started back in September talking with social services, and met with them a few times, asking lots of questions. We were still hesitant to jump right in because we were scared (still are). What if it didn’t work out? What if we were in over our heads? What if we failed? What if? What if? What if?
And then we both realized: we can make excuses all day long. We can think about all of the different ways we could fail, and this could be a bad decision. OR. We could say ‘yes’ and follow Him, wherever He was leading us. I will say, for most of my life, I’ve tended to say ‘no’ because I didn’t want to be uncomfortable, or I’ve let the fear of failure dictate what I’ve done. The few times I’ve stepped outside of what was my ‘norm’, I have experienced some of the most incredible blessings.
And this one is most certainly at the top of the list.
So we are foster parents right now, and I can’t begin to describe how much joy this has brought our family. Speaking for myself, I’ve been humbled. I’ve been put in situations I’ve never been in before, and saw things I’ve never seen. This experience has brought me to my knees in prayer and praise. It has changed my purpose, my outlook, and my heart.
My kids have amazed me through this process. They’ve stepped up to welcome their new ‘addition’ and have been such big helpers. They love this child, and in the sweetest way possible, they are learning that there is a ‘bigger picture’, and they are getting to be a part of that. Right now we are loving this child to pieces, and relishing in our new reality, day to to day.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared to death, because I am. Many people have asked about the future of the situation. I don’t know. I really don’t know and a big part of me doesn’t really even think about it. I like to say, I feel like I am holding God’s hands and closing my eyes, and letting Him lead me.
I don’t want to see, I just want to trust.
Have a blessed Sunday!